February 2015 – BethSings

I have often had a retrospective vision where everything in my past life seems to fall with significance into logical sequence. ~ Ansel Adams

“When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother
What will I be
Will I be pretty
Will I be rich
Here’s what she said to me

Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be”

Every year at the school fair my best friend, Leslie and I would stand in line to get our fortunes read. Now, I’m not so sure if we did this because we really wanted to know our futures or because we wanted to sneak into the sixth grade class room. Looking back, it seems like the same thing now. Either way, going to that fortune teller was a HUGE deal. As big as visiting with friends at the chicken spaghetti dinner or landing on the winning number at the cake walk.

Have you ever had moments of such clarity you felt as if you had lived the moment before? Déjà vu. From crossing a street I’ve walked hundreds of times to accepting a temporary position at place I was once employed. Good news, not so good news. Life returned to normal last week. Peace covered me like a warm blanket. Lessons learned.

Carpe Diem. Be aware of each moment. Watch them sparkle.
Cherish your people: family and friends. You know who they are! Aretha got it right. R. E. S. P. E. C. T. Listen to them. That’s all a part of loving them.
Just like countries have boundaries that set limits for it’s citizens, we have lines that define who we are and who we’re not giving us the freedom to express our thoughts and feelings. Le mieux est l’ennemi du bien. Voltiere.
Keep the music playing. In other words. Keep singing, dancing, doing your thing. . . YOUR thing. Not someone else’s. Be realistic but DREAM BIG.

“Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother
What will I be
Will I be handsome
Will I be rich
I tell them tenderly

Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be
Que Sera, Sera”

Christmas seems ages ago. I’m glad I don’t have a fortune teller’s crystal ball, just common sense balanced with a sense of humor. “We can only promise to do our best and live out our lives.” Savoring each moment….standing on solid ground.

The beginning of love is to let those we love to be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

Thomas Merton

Summer 2011, I took a road trip to Kentucky. The solo return from the conference in Louisville brought visits to diverse places: bourbon distilleries and the Abbey where Merton spent his last days. On that drive home I realized how lucky I was to be make choices for myself and that it was important to afford the people I love: family and friends those same choices. Quite frankly, out of concern, I haven’t always been successful in “letting loved ones be perfectly themselves”. Who has? Even in the years that have followed I’ve slipped in ‘wanting’ for friends and family. . . out of love. It’s a goal to remember that others are on their own journey, not a reflection of mine.

Over this last month, the compassionate words of Rabbi Harold Kushner’s have re-resonated. “The purpose in life is not to win. The purpose in life is to grow and to share. When you come to look back on all that you have done in life, you will get more satisfaction from the pleasure you have brought into other people’s lives.” In the mid-80’s I recall reading his book When Bad Things Happen to Good People. Simple. Straight-forward. Thirty years ago, I was a twenty-five year old deciphering the ‘whys’ of my mother’s untimely death. She was not much older than I am now.

Grow. Share. Forgive. Love. Carpe Diem.

None of us can escape sorrow. We grieve the loss and carry with us the joy. I learned that from my mother.

January 2015 will go down as a month of certain (and often uncertain) plate-spinning. We all have some creative “circus days” in life. My mother called it handling life with ‘style and grace’. She was a master at “plate-spinning” and “circus days”. The epitome of style and grace. It, like wisdom, comes with age.

I didn’t understand what she meant by “this too, shall pass”. Now, I do. With style and grace.

Monthly Archives: February 2015

Solid Ground

Style and Grace….a lament