Fair warning. No pictures. This blog will be different but may very well be my most candid.
Two months since the last posting and news abounds. Sitting in my regular pew this morning I reflected on a promise I made to my friend Leslie that I would finish a blog by today, October 1. I don’t want to disappoint my first friend and blood sister.
Deleting the multitude of ideas and drafts over these weeks, we’ll call it writers block, my creativity has been dry as a bone . This morning it struck me, many times I write about the past, not because I believe in glamorizing or romanticizing yesterday but because I’ve needed to learn from it. We learn, we grow from history. Our choices. They become a part of our present and stepping stones into our future. The past can’t be changed. There are no mistakes or regrets waiting there to be repaired. It just is.
Without such growth we become self-absorbed, wallowing in our ‘what ifs’.
More than ever, this week I’ve experienced the grace of companions: family and friends, those who are present in times of joy and stress. Their presence is meaningful…they make joys sweeter, they are balm in times of trouble. Their absences are felt. Their love is unconditional. I hope I have been that for them.
For years I made this prayer by William Martin my own for my children…..
It became my prayer for a simple life after they grew up.
Do not ask your children
to strive for extraordinary lives.
Such striving may seem admirable,
but it is a way of foolishness.
Help them instead to find the wonder
and the marvel of an ordinary life.
Show them the joy of tasting
tomatoes, apples, and pears.
Show them how to cry
when pets and people die.
Show them the infinite pleasure
in the touch of a hand.
And make the ordinary come alive for them.
The extraordinary will take care of itself.
This week my daughter said “yes” to the “touch” of another hand. Our family is elated that this young man will be joining our family.
This week I learned to an even greater depth that my son is a ‘wonder’ and has found the ‘marvel in an ordinary life’.
This week I reflected on the people I love. I don’t say “thank you” and “I love you” nearly enough.
My mother, my grandmothers, great-grandmothers faced an uncertain world with faith, finding common ground and love. A long line of women who were not always so big into labeling, meeting their neighbors and the time in which they lived with arms open, often with a casserole and flowers.
As ‘the guinea pig child’, by now you’re well aware I haven’t had all of the answers and still don’t. You’ve learned that if you don’t know something, ask for help. I haven’t always been a good example of that….single mom syndrome.
Over these years, the blog has evolved….and so has my photography…. 
Three years ago, when the water was significantly lower I started this blog to say thank you: to my son for his generosity, to my daughter for books and advice and to family and friends near and far. Those two words are as sincere today as they were then.
It seems easy today for some people to say petty, unnecessary things, abuse social media. Why is it much easier for humans to wrap themselves around problems, negativity and blaming rather than around joy? Why is it easier to point out differences than embrace what makes us unique or see the common ground. The week had been complicated.
It’s a balancing act in the best sense. My children are living proof. 
On New Year’s Day 2011 I walked a labyrinth under a beautiful sky filled with stars. Under the stars that same winter my daughter was in her third year of undergraduate school studying in Prague, my son was in his mid-20’s working his way up the corporate ladder. The steps we all took that year were adventure-filled marked with enthusiasm. We were miles apart yet connected. It had seemed like such a short journey from infancy to adulthood for them. That night at the beginning of a new year, I resolved to start on a path of self-discovery. I’ll always be their mother but the time had come to find an adult self apart from being a parent. Along this new journey I’ve had the time to nurture my own interests and career, travel, to reacquaint with friends from childhood, college and beyond who had been on adventures of their own—building careers and families.
I’ve explored and discerned. Some choices were great, some not so great but they were mine. 
BethSings 