adventure – Page 4

Priceless

August has slipped through my fingers like quicksilver.

Summer’s blooms fade into the rhythm of schedules and commitments as I find reminders of the sweet carefree days, a lovely summer —- varied, calm….calling me to change.

A few more days before packing away white shoes and linen.

Certainly, August is always busy with school starting. The last few weeks I had an opportunity to act in a new play. It was nice remembering that kind of trust. . . in myself and others. Humility. Vulnerable. It’s good to tap those.

Last week I was out of town. Serendipity. Craft services—cooking while my daughter directed her Thesis film. The quiet while I was preparing the meals was good for the soul. The camaraderie during meals and on set was good for the heart. I returned home tired but replenished….and very proud. Certainly seeing my daughter’s artistic vision come to reality was cause for pride. . . but greater still is knowing the kind of people she and my son have become.

Priceless. The word I use to describe the time I spent. The weather was cool and crisp. I cooked all my favorites: gumbo, jambalaya, red beans and rice….meals I’ve made for decades and prepare well. Cuisine taught to me by my mother and grandmother. Outside the kitchen door there was a beautiful vine with grapes. Scenic. I realized when I got to the airport Sunday that those grapes are like many things along life’s journey, something saved in a memory bank and not on a photograph. It’s almost better that way.

This is an excerpt of something I found in my inbox Monday morning…from Ron Rolheiser: “We need more and more to trust love and surrender, to let go of ourselves, especially of our pride, our wounds, our hurts, our mistakes, our past, and our weaknesses, to give ourselves over to forgiveness……Morris West said that at a certain age, it should come down to one word: “Thanks!” He’s right, but to say that one word and mean it we need three other words: “Forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness!”

Just like the rest of August, it had perfect timing….was priceless.

The One Thing

Wednesday night was filled with excitement. Bittersweet.

Goodbye summer. Hello new school year.

To relax, I went swimming Wednesday night with some girlfriends. Over the course of the summer we’ve seen Canadian geese and owls. Wednesday night there was a rainbow…..and bats. I scampered out of the pool to capture the shot but the moment was gone. Life’s like that sometimes. Special moments flash before our eyes in an instant. We think we’ll have all the time in the world to ‘roll around in them’. . .but before we know it…they’re gone. POOF! No warning.

Thursday. The first day of school. I’ve been blessed to serve…yes, SERVE…as a music and drama specialist for many years at a phenomenal school. A place that is ‘home’ for students and faculty alike. Thursday was particularly good. On those particularly good days…. there’s gratitude for my parents, family and friends.

At the end of the day, the house was quiet. It was welcome on such a busy day. I let it wash over me, thinking of the people I would’ve/could’ve called but stayed in the quiet. Not long after I sat on the sofa an UPS truck pulled up bringing with him a reminder of my forever home and family.

The ‘rules’ of life can be VERY sticky. I’ve made them that way and didn’t see the thorns.

One of my favorite teachers used to say: “Excuses are like armpits, they all stink.” Over the last few years I’ve been grateful to have the opportunity to change the rules, reacquaint with old friends. The friendships were waiting. Frozen in time, then moved forward.

Maybe I needed to get to this age to find THE ONE rule. LOVE!

With apologies to St. Paul.

Who can

separate us from love? Tribulation, distress, famine, war….death or life…things of the past, present things or things to come…..none of these things can separate us…..

The ONE THING. For this I am grateful.

Into The Light

Hard to believe this is the last Friday night of Summer 2014. What an adventure’s it’s been! A often unpredictable and unusual ride!

Rest – check Refresh – check Reacquaint – check. check. With myself…with important others.

Consciously balancing time out of the ‘rodeo’ with healthy activity this summer has made a HUGE difference in attitude. H.U.G.E.

From Greek Fest on a New Orleans bayou to long lazy chats over coffee on a Arkansas front porch. From introducing theatre to the next generation of actors and patrons to morning and evening swims and ‘runs’.

Quiet with books, photography, cooking, cleaning and writing.

Singing and dining with inspiring conductors who are both humble and humorous, who take the music much more seriously than themselves.

Collaboration in a new way with other artists grateful that an old dog can learn new tricks even in the early morning hours.

The joys of brunches. Occasional lunches. Spontaneous suppers. Wine on the front steps. Late night conversations. Sunday morning conversations with old friends. Visiting a “sister”.

Knowing the love of family. Seeing those ‘babies bloom’ is sweet. Like the gardenia bush in my front bed that I planted, pruned, watered and watched grow. Now, I appreciate how beautiful the blooms are….and they ARE exquisite.

Yes, there are a few summer chores left undone. The benches on my front steps still need mending and painting but I’ve tended to the important things. My mother was right. Some mending is best to wait for cooler weather. Starting school Monday with “i’s dotted and t’s crossed”. Rejuvenated with a promise and hope for the few things left unfinished.

Thanks Summer! Looking towards Autumn….

out of the ‘dark’… into the light…..

Christmas in July

Driving from lunch with a friend today ‘it’ washed over me like a warm summer shower. The pieces of the puzzle of the past four years came together in near perfect clarity….turning….

In that moment I realized that the ‘turning’ that led me to this day started much further back than four years ago. What a gift! The present, guided by the past, leading toward the future.

Beacons of change….lights….sparkling as brightly as any twinkling on a Christmas tree……

I’m no angel but on some days sitting on top of a tree year after year, surveying the world could come easily…..

Like so many women before me, I have worn many hats: daughter, friend, mother, wife, employee…. When it came time to “let go”, finding the path was challenging at times.

But it is in the ‘turning’, the ‘letting go’ that we discover ourselves and allow others to discover who they are….The bottom line is trusting the process.

That was today’s insight….and WHAT a gift!……it was like……..

Christmas in July!

The Joy of July

I’ve looked forward to the languid days of July for months. Plans of quiet days and rest. Plans for reunion and homecoming.

Last Saturday, my car filled with memories of two little girls riding bicycles in the streets until dark, singing songs until we were hoarse and playing Barbie’s and ‘dress up’…. I drove to my north Louisiana hometown to visit my childhood friend. There, I rediscovered my “blood sister”… ‘family’. The journey has been long but well-worth the wait. The bonds run very deep. There is always enough. Enough love. Enough joy. Enough time….to share…..and like the fruits of July…… it multiplies.

I’m so very grateful for second chances…for each second chance…..for friendship….

For the joy of July…..

Going Dark

July 1, 2013. One year ago I clearly remember looking in a mirror and saying: ‘Enough! Move forward! This next year will be one of exploration, risk-taking, wandering, wondering, ‘following your bliss’. No looking back except to mend what can be mended.”

It’s been a year of friends, new beginnings, rediscovery, old dogs, new tricks. Shedding the skin of unnecessary drivel and looking to dawns, gloamings and the moments in between; remembering to stay in the moment when the passion got the best of me. Some days seemed endless. Some were far too short. Most were about gratitude for what is and trusting the process.
Never a perfectionist, I do confess to being a ‘doer’, pursuing activities like some people collect stamps or chotchkies. Somewhere along this year’s journey I rediscovered peace, the joy of solitude. That ‘no’ and stillness are both good. That being true to myself is paramount. That friendship is precious.

Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard said, “A saint is the person who can will the one thing.” I am far from being a saint but I believe he was describing a person who knows the one important thing to say “yes” to. During this year I discovered the distractions of an abundance of “good things” that left me with no energy or desire for the “one thing”. We’re often so busy doing the many to find ‘the one.’ Examining what keeps us from being the best, we’re quick to crown the enemy as something terrible and negative. What we fail to recognize is that often “the enemy of the best can be the good.”

In the theatre the term “dark” means when it’s closed to the public, between productions or on non-performance days. A few months back I decided I’d go ‘dark’ in July 2014 so that moving forward I could ‘will the one’ for the next year more carefully. Last year was a great adventure but it’s time to discern in ‘the dark’so that next year will be focused, bright and beautiful.

Wisdom Journey

Saturday was the Summer Solstice. A time to renew, refresh, reinvent. Within. Around. Remembering that in doing and not doing there is joy. Sometimes it takes a while to discover the rhythm but once found the cadence of summer is sweet .

Joseph Campbell called it ‘following your bliss’. I rediscovered those delightful days last summer— along with this poem by Rainer Maria Rilke. . http://intoitevents.com/2014/05/29/like-a-river/

“May what I do flow from me like a river, no forcing and no holding back.”

This summer I’ve remembered the flow of that river with ‘no forcing or holding back’, ‘the song as no one ever has’. The discovery that we each compose our own song is sweet and freeing.

Not that I hadn’t been true to the journey….sometimes there’s a detour, a bend in the river….. a flat tire….

I once thought to be true to myself meant embracing the world with a wide-eyed, über-enthusiastic grasp. Doing EVERYTHING with such passion. Now I believe it’s wiser-eyed enthusiasm. A passionate calm. Making wise choices about time, talent, treasure. Friends. Family. Sometimes easier said than done on the journey.

I was reminded of a personal anecdote last week. At age four I walked seven blocks to my grandparents house without my parents permission or knowledge. My parents thought I was lost, missing. The family story goes that when I was asked how I got there I answered: “On my own two yegs“. Was the act independent and fearless or disobedient, I don’t remember. I’ve thought about that little girl; the courage to take that seven block journey, other life journeys.

Yes, summer is quiet. A time of wisdom. Standing at the door….ready and waiting….. on my ‘on two yegs’.

Cue. Summer.

It’s been a busy two weeks since school was out and my last post. I’m always amused by people who think that teachers do nothing in the summer.

After over thirty years in the business I typically smile in response. I was born to teach. I recall gathering ‘the children’ to teach them songs at the neighborhood center my mother directed when I eight years old but now I understand the wisdom in rest and rejuvenation.

Cue. Summer.

Lazy days. Grace-filled days. Family. Friends. Quiet solitude. Reflective. Laughter. Snapshots of Summer.

I’ve given some thought to these warm, humid days. The naming and keeping.

Summer’s mystery isn’t always found

in the naming and keeping of

days but in cherishing the moments as they come.

Sometimes only our absence can deepen and cleanse our presence.

Sometimes it is better that we go away, for a day or for a season.

Making the reunion ever so sweet….

Passion

“What is that feeling when you’re driving away from people and they recede on the plain you see their specks dispersing?- it’s the too-huge world vaulting us, and it’s good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.”

Jack Kerouac On the Road

Some weeks.

Seem special. Every word is cherished. This is one of those weeks and it’s not even Wednesday. Every moment cherished. Every word treasured. It started Sunday with an adventure…….

How many of us have convinced ourselves we’re the only ones that had ever been betrayed, injured, humiliated. My hand is raised: Guilty!

Broken, often oblivious to the brokenness. Complicated. Confused. Come on!

Odd adventure. Stop. Breathe. Letting go. Surrendering to the possible. Passion!

“Our life is not given to us like an opera libretto, in which all is written down; it means going, walking, doing, searching seeing….We must enter into the adventure of the quest.”

Pope Francis, America Magazine, September 2013

Often, the comfort of what is familiar hinders our desire for the quest. My mother used to stay “a lady always knows when to leave.” That had become my life’s prayer. Knowing when and how to leave….is an ARTFORM. I’m splendid at entrances, it’s the exits I haven’t mastered.

Passion. Journey. Sunday I FINALLY remembered something I’ve known all along. None of the moments are about hurts or injuries, entrances or exits…..but LOVE! As much as we don’t like to admit it, we’re broken people…. At least I am. Love puts it right.

An adventure is good for the spirit, soul…peace of mind. Perspective.

So with renewed vigor, the adventure continues…

with Passion…..Today….Tomorrow….Color me GRATEFUL……….Music to Long By