Driving from lunch with a friend today ‘it’ washed over me like a warm summer shower. The pieces of the puzzle of the past four years came together in near perfect clarity….turning….
In that moment I realized that the ‘turning’ that led me to this day started much further back than four years ago. What a gift! The present, guided by the past, leading toward the future.
Beacons of change….lights….sparkling as brightly as any twinkling on a Christmas tree……
I’m no angel but on some days sitting on top of a tree year after year, surveying the world could come easily…..
Like so many women before me, I have worn many hats: daughter, friend, mother, wife, employee…. When it came time to “let go”, finding the path was challenging at times.
But it is in the ‘turning’, the ‘letting go’ that we discover ourselves and allow others to discover who they are….The bottom line is trusting the process.
That was today’s insight….and WHAT a gift!……it was like……..
I’ve looked forward to the languid days of July for months. Plans of quiet days and rest. Plans for reunion and homecoming.
Last Saturday, my car filled with memories of two little girls riding bicycles in the streets until dark, singing songs until we were hoarse and playing Barbie’s and ‘dress up’…. I drove to my north Louisiana hometown to visit my childhood friend. There, I rediscovered my “blood sister”… ‘family’. The journey has been long but well-worth the wait. The bonds run very deep. There is always enough. Enough love. Enough joy. Enough time….to share…..and like the fruits of July…… it multiplies.
I’m so very grateful for second chances…for each second chance…..for friendship….
July 1, 2013. One year ago I clearly remember looking in a mirror and saying: ‘Enough! Move forward! This next year will be one of exploration, risk-taking, wandering, wondering, ‘following your bliss’. No looking back except to mend what can be mended.”
It’s been a year of friends, new beginnings, rediscovery, old dogs, new tricks. Shedding the skin of unnecessary drivel and looking to dawns, gloamings and the moments in between; remembering to stay in the moment when the passion got the best of me. Some days seemed endless. Some were far too short. Most were about gratitude for what is and trusting the process.
Never a perfectionist, I do confess to being a ‘doer’, pursuing activities like some people collect stamps or chotchkies. Somewhere along this year’s journey I rediscovered peace, the joy of solitude. That ‘no’ and stillness are both good. That being true to myself is paramount. That friendship is precious.
Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard said, “A saint is the person who can will the one thing.” I am far from being a saint but I believe he was describing a person who knows the one important thing to say “yes” to. During this year I discovered the distractions of an abundance of “good things” that left me with no energy or desire for the “one thing”. We’re often so busy doing the many to find ‘the one.’ Examining what keeps us from being the best, we’re quick to crown the enemy as something terrible and negative. What we fail to recognize is that often “the enemy of the best can be the good.”
In the theatre the term “dark” means when it’s closed to the public, between productions or on non-performance days. A few months back I decided I’d go ‘dark’ in July 2014 so that moving forward I could ‘will the one’ for the next year more carefully. Last year was a great adventure but it’s time to discern in ‘the dark’so that next year will be focused, bright and beautiful.
The last week of school. A week teachers look forward to. I suppose I have too: Time off to rest and recuperate before heading back to the ‘dance’ in August. This year has been a full one: professionally and personally. Reconnected. Reconciled. Beginning with myself then moving to others. The dance has been slow, steady but lovely.
Since last May I have been reminded that…..
Even good-intentioned people and situations have ‘danger, danger Will Robinson’ times. In those times, a generous, inquisitive spirit is needed.
Forgiveness does not equal acceptance.
It’s perfectly okay to walk away from a situation. Being around negativity is….well, a downer.
Friends and family…..there’s nothing like them. Remind them how much you love them. Nothing has to be extravagant except love.
Find something you enjoy. A passion. You are NEVER too old to learn something new or to remember something you once knew.
Spending quality time with friends and family is important but spending time with YOURSELF is grounding.
Sleep well. Eat well. Move well. Simplify.
Find ‘a purpose’ each day….something to be grateful for. Some days are more challenging than others. We’re human. We miss people. We get angry, frustrated, tired. The ‘purpose’ may be hidden but it’s there waiting…..sometimes right around the next corner. Like magic, it appears out of nowhere.
Friends, family, sunsets, adventures, the aroma of the magnolias when you walk out the door in the evening. Enjoy. Be grateful. Savor life.
Quite frankly, my head has been spinning about what to write. Motherhood. Children. Rites of passage. Joy. Gratitude. . . for mothers and children, school years ending and summers beginning, friends and family and forgiveness…..
I recently read an on-line story that the best Mother’s Day gifts involved leaving mom alone. Admittedly when my children were very small quiet, some occasional alone-time might have been very welcome. Sleep was a rare commodity. Spending quality time with other adults, girl-friends was cherished.
I’ve been blessed to have remarkable friends throughout my life. Male and Female. There are no time limits, labels or geography when it comes to those kind of friends. I have a friend who says: “time stands still on those kind of friendships.” She’s right.
When I first relocated to Baton Rouge, my children were young I joined a ‘play group’ with four other young mothers. We met at first on Tuesdays, then eventually branched out….sharing everything from swimming lessons to understanding what happened at the pediatrician to First Communions. Growing Up. Starting school. We were all ‘transplants’, none of us had local family so it was nice knowing there was a safety net of friends.
It became the custom for our group to go to High Tea on the Saturday before Mother’s Day. Clotted cream, lemon curd, scones….a May tradition. Looking back, we started as young mothers going to ‘play dates’ and transformed into the ‘The Tea Girls’, a diverse yet supportive group of friends. During ‘teas’ we shared our hopes and dreams for the future. Clearly being a mother was the most important work any of us would do…..will ever do….but as creative individuals we had the support of each other to ‘bounce’ ideas: What about this business venture? What about grad school?
In the twenty- five plus years since we became friends some of us have moved to other cities, divorced, remarried, seen our own children get married. We have supported each other through the loss of parents and illness within the group. Friends, good friends, keep us grounded and healthy. They are a mirror for our soul. This group was that.
There is little doubt in my mind that much of the credit for my success as a mother came from the example of my own mother. If Yvonne was gently whispering in one ear, I was lucky enough to have “The Tea Girls” whispering in the other. I’m grateful for both pieces of wisdom and for the Saturday before Mother’s Day….
Today, as we honor mothers I’ll be nibbling on scones and lifting my cup…to My Mother….to Your Mother….”Tea Girls”everywhere…..and to the children they raised…..
the world could come easily…..
BethSings 