An Open Letter to My Son On Turning 30

Thirty years ago today, the final journey toward the reality of motherhood began. My son was still a few days from being born. I had been diagnosed with preeclampsia in early April and put to bed shortly after hoping that the baby would come on his due date, May 11th.  On May 28th I was admitted to the hospital to induce labor. Patrick has always arrived on his schedule; he was born Friday, May 30th at 3:50 p.m.

A few thoughts for Patrick. Yeah, I know I’ll see you in a few hours to begin the birthday celebration but in looking through pictures (and not finding some baby pictures) I thought I’d write this. If you’re going to stop reading now, remember that birthdays are only a number. Celebrate them and be grateful. Mother's Day 1986

  1. Other memories will surely fade but I will never forget the moment they placed you in my arms for the first time. That moment and you were both miracles. There was a purpose in my life beyond anything I had ever known. For that I will always be grateful.
  2. happiness children turnedAs ‘the guinea pig child’,  by now you’re well aware I haven’t had all of the answers and still don’t. You’ve learned that if you don’t know something, ask for help. I haven’t always been a good example of that….single mom syndrome.
  3. Life is about discovering who we are by learning…we make mistakes. Try not to blame others for them. Most of the time those others aren’t giving us a second thought and the blame or regret only hurts us. Evaluate then move on.
  4.  Travel….see the world, read books, do it with friends, family, go alone. It’s the greatest education there is. Easter 2016
  5. Thirty is a new beginning. . .and there will be lots of new beginnings. Life is chock-full of ups and downs. Don’t linger too long on the mountain tops or wallow too long in the valleys.
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    Candle for Patrick’s cake since 1987

     

  6. Surround yourself with good people. Friends and family who are solid, that you can count on. You come from ‘good stock’.  Choose wisely.
  7. Take time for you. . .laugh every day.

 

And always remember..

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1989-Patrick, age 3 with Papa Nichols, your great-grandfather
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Fall 1985, right after I  found out I was pregnant with you.
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Patrick’s 5th birthday

…I love you forever…

A Happy Resting Place

I don’t claim that I am psychic
But one look at you and I kick
Away every scruple
I learnt as a pupil
In school my dear

I’m not one to make predictions
But I’ve thrown off all restrictions,
And I don’t mind confessing
I think it’s a blessing
That you are here

Though I’m prepared to find I’m wrong
I’ve got a funny feeling we belong together

 

Home from rehearsal —pumped! Sleep eludes…..so I write….

For the last two months I’ve been working as music director with the Young Actors Program for the local community theater for the musical comedy, The Boyfriend.  This is my fourth year to work with the company. It’s been a pleasure being a part of these young artists’ lives, seeing them grow in every way.

Since the weekend we have been in technical rehearsals, an exhilarating, exhausting week (some call hell) prior to the show’s opening night this Thursday. During tech all of the whistles and bells are added to the production: costumes, lights, sound, set, scenery, props, orchestra. These actors, musicians and designers have developed life-long skills – they’ve learned balance simply by the choices they make with hours spent in rehearsal and finishing homework. Many of them are honor students.

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Tech Week can be a challenge for adults and professionals. It requires patience while technical problems are resolved or set changes are rehearsed so that what the audience sees is seamless.

On the drives home recently my thoughts have been on these young actors and on my own theater mentors: Chris Ringham, long-time director at Monroe’s Strauss Playhouse. Dr. Bill Rambin, Head of the Theater Department at Northeast Louisiana University (now University of Louisiana at Monroe)  Both encouraged and shaped my love of theater—inspired me to be and do better, to make adventurous choices. I learned from both Chris and Bill that there are no rights or wrongs on the stage – only choice. The theater is, at it’s best, an understanding community where choices are welcome. On the stage we are a reflection of the world -both best and worst.

Chris Ringham formed my understanding of community theater. Anyone who knew Chris still hears his raspy voice barking directions from the back of the dark Strauss theater.  Chris believed in the power of people but more importantly the power that art had within community. He was organized, funny, salty, innovative, a quick mind.   He had vision, expected excellence. The art and the audience were foremost in his mind.

It dawned on me last week that it’s been forty years since Chris cast me in my first musical. I was a junior in high school. He guided me through auditions at his theater then beyond.

Chris Ringham

 

Fantasticks

 

One of those Chrissuggestions came when NLU announced Tony-award winner Ron Holgate would be joining a student production of  The Fantasticks as El Gallo . I remember  Chris sitting in the Strauss Playhouse box office, his asking to see me, if I planned on auditioning. He strongly suggested it so I did.  It was during The Fantasticks I met Dr. Bill Rambin who directed the show, his wife Linda, choreographed; Andy Isca was music director.  The Fantasticks will always be the one

Bill Rambin was the perfect director…fun, smart, charming. He inspired…and still does. He probably knew how scared I was. He always said the right thing at the right time and still does. He taught me the importance of time management, to be professional. How to  say thank you. He was never afraid so we couldn’t be. Bill Rambin is fantastic!

During break at rehearsal last week I was playing on one of those phone ‘throwback’ apps and found some pictures from productions over the last few years. Those photos caused my thoughts to drift to Chris and Bill. Their legacy. My legacy. The support we give to each other when we least suspect it. How grateful I am to have the support from these two artists and the communities they served. They shaped me and so did the communities.

I could be happy with you
If you could be happy with me
I’d be contented to live anywhere
What would I care
As long as you were there?
Skies may not always be blue
But one thing is clear as can be
I know that I could be happy with you, my darling
If you could be happy with me.

Singing this song from The Boyfriend everyday for the last eight weeks….interestingly enough I’ve rediscovered contentment not just from my children, family, friends but a simple contentment that’s from and in me. Instead of perpetually striving and living unsatisfied, I could be happy. Chris and Bill described, maybe not in so many words, that contentment in the building up of community….finding the gift in yourself….then sharing it with others….

It’s something to hang your hat on.. a happy resting place.