Coq au Vin with Julia and others

Sundays. I have always loved the rhythm of Sundays. Quiet peace.  They were special growing up. I tried to make them that way for my children. 002

My mother cooked Sunday dinner or in summer we’d visit my grandparents. Nurturing through food. It’s part of why I like to cook. Cooking is not a chore but a creative art. The smells remind me of home. Monroe and my children. Happy memories. I process when I cook.  Yes the past is a part of that but planning for the future. Relaxation especially on a rainy day like today. There was always music playing in mother’s kitchen….I follow suit.

004I started cooking for myself a few years back once the kids left and enjoyed it. . . but I stopped. It seemed indulgent. It didn’t occur to me that I could still do that for myself until a few weeks ago visiting my daughter in Boston. . . so last Sunday and today….I pulled out cookbooks, music and cooked. Foods I enjoy preparing, will last the week. Rediscovering this joy has centered my life….just like photography has.  And certainly saved money and calories….

Thanks Julia Child for this advice. In life and the kitchen. The only real stumbling block is fear of failure. In cooking you’ve got to have a what-the-hell attitude.  

Today’s endeavor: Coq au vin. One of the first fancy dishes I ever prepared. I remember cooking it from my mother’s Julia Child cookbook. This one is from a special cookbook sent by my best friend since kindergarten. September 2014As I cook I thought about life’s relationships. Then I thought how  friendships are built through theater….some are temporary, just for the run of the show…or a few shows…. some are for the long haul.  Just like the ingredients in the coq au vin, these relationships are all crucial to the outcome of the dish.  I’m that coq au vin….. . . how lucky and grateful I am to have so many and varied ingredients in my life… near and far…

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Cooking is all about patience, creativity and staying positive! Thank heaven I’ve had that in my life….and that life still tastes really good at this age!

The One Thing

Wednesday night was filled with excitement. Bittersweet.

Goodbye summer. Hello  new school year.  Crayons

 

To relax, I went swimming Wednesday night with some girlfriends. Over the course of the summer we’ve seen Canadian geese and owls. Wednesday night there was a rainbow…..and bats. I scampered out of the pool to capture the shot but the moment was gone. Life’s like that sometimes. Special moments flash before our eyes in an instant. We think we’ll have all the time in the world to ‘roll around in them’. . .but before we know it…they’re gone. POOF! No warning.

Thursday. The first day of school. I’ve been blessed to serve…yes, SERVE…as a music and drama specialist for many years at a phenomenal school. A place that is ‘home’ for students and faculty alike. Thursday was particularly good. On those particularly good days…. there’s gratitude for my parents, family and friends.

At the end of the day, the house was quiet. It was welcome on such a busy day.  I let it wash over me, thinking of the people I would’ve/could’ve called but stayed in the quiet.  Not long after I sat on the sofa an UPS truck pulled up bringing with him a  030reminder of my forever home and family.

 

The ‘rules’ of life can be VERY sticky. I’ve made them that way and didn’t see the thorns.008

One of my favorite teachers used to say: “Excuses are like armpits, they all stink.”  Over the last few years I’ve been grateful to have the opportunity to change the rules, reacquaint with old friends. The friendships were waiting.  Frozen in time, then moved forward.

 

Maybe I needed to get to this age to find THE ONE rule. LOVE!

girls playing012With apologies to St. Paul.

Who can

017separate us from love?  Tribulation, distress, famine, war….death or life…things of the past, present things or things to come…..none of these things can separate us…..

The ONE THING.  For this I am grateful.

Into The Light

Hard to believe this is the last Friday night of Summer 2014.  What an adventure’s it’s been! A often unpredictable and unusual ride!   Texas Longhorn

Rest – check  Refresh – check Reacquaint – check. check. With myself…with important others.

Consciously balancing time out of the ‘rodeo’ with healthy activity this summer has made a HUGE difference in attitude.  H.U.G.E.

From Greek Fest on a New Orleans bayou to long lazy chats over coffeeDSC_0834 on a Arkansas front porch. Mountain ThymeDSC_1002From  introducing theatre to the next generation of actors and patrons to morning and evening swims and ‘runs’.

Quiet with books, photography, cooking, cleaning and writing.

Singing and dining with inspiring conductors who are both humble and humorous, who take the music much more seriously than themselves.  Stephen Cleobury concert

Collaboration in a new way with other artists grateful that an old dog REQUIEMS call sheetcan learn new tricks even in the early morning hours.

The joys of brunches. Occasional lunches. Spontaneous suppers. Wine on the front steps. Late night conversations. Sunday morning conversations with old friends. Visiting a “sister”. Leslie and me

Knowing the love of family. Seeing those ‘babies bloom’ is sweet.  Like the gardenia bush in my front bed that I planted, pruned, watered and watched grow.  Now, I appreciate how beautiful the blooms are….and they ARE exquisite. Sarah and ChristineFamily

Yes, there are a few summer chores left undone. The benches on my front steps still need mending and painting but I’ve tended to the important things.  My mother was right. Some mending is best to  wait for cooler weather. Starting school Monday with “i’s dotted and t’s crossed”. Rejuvenated with a promise and hope for the few things left unfinished.

Thanks Summer! Looking towards Autumn….

out of the ‘dark’… into the light…..double sunset

 

 

 

Christmas in July

Driving from lunch with a friend today ‘it’ washed over me like a warm summer shower.  The pieces of the puzzle of the past four years came together in near perfect clarity….turning….

In that moment I realized that the ‘turning’ that led me to this day started much further back than four years ago. What a gift! The present, guided by the past, leading toward the future. DSC_0028

Beacons of change….lights….sparkling as brightly as any twinkling on a Christmas tree……

I’m no angel but on some days sitting on top of a tree year after year, surveying 005the world could come easily…..

Like so many women before me, I have worn many hats: daughter, friend, mother, wife, employee…. When it came time to “let go”, finding the path was challenging at times.

But it is in the ‘turning’, the ‘letting go’ that we discover ourselves and allow others to discover who they are….The bottom line is trusting the process.

That was today’s insight….and WHAT a gift!……it was like……..

Christmas in July! 006

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The Joy of July

NLU SunsetI’ve looked forward to the languid days of July for months. Plans of quiet days and rest. Plans for reunion and homecoming.

Last Saturday, my car filled with memories of two little girls riding bicycles in the streets until dark, singing songs until we were hoarse and playing Barbie’s and ‘dress up’…. I drove to my north Louisiana hometown to visit my childhood friend. There, I rediscovered my “blood sister”… ‘family’. Leslie and me 1960'sThe journey has been long but well-worth the wait. The bonds run very deep. There is  always enough. Enough love. Enough joy. Enough time….to share…..and like the fruits of July…… it multiplies. blackeyed peasRuston Peaches

I’m so very grateful for second chances…for each second chance…..for friendship….

For the joy of July…..  Hazel RayLeslie and meLotus Club

Going Dark

July 1, 2013. One year ago I clearly remember looking in a mirror and saying: ‘Enough! Move forward! This next year will be one of exploration, risk-taking, wandering, wondering, ‘following your bliss’. No looking back except to mend what can be mended.”
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It’s been a year of friends, new beginnings, rediscovery, old dogs, new tricks. Shedding the skin of unnecessary drivel and looking to dawns, gloamings and the moments in between; remembering to stay in the moment when the passion got the best of me. Some days seemed endless. Some were far too short. Most were about gratitude for what is and trusting the process. DSC_0084
Never a perfectionist, I do confess to being a ‘doer’, pursuing activities like some people collect stamps or chotchkies. Somewhere along this year’s journey I rediscovered peace, the joy of solitude. That ‘no’ and stillness are both good. That being true to myself is paramount. That friendship is precious.

Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard said, “A saint is the person who can will the one thing.” I am far from being a saint but I believe he was describing a person who knows the one important thing to say “yes” to. During this year I discovered the distractions of an abundance of “good things” that left me with no energy or desire for the “one thing”. We’re often so busy doing the many to find ‘the one.’ Examining what keeps us from being the best, we’re quick to crown the enemy as something terrible and negative. What we fail to recognize is that often “the enemy of the best can be the good.” DSC_0940

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In the theatre the term “dark” means when it’s closed to the public, between productions or on non-­performance days. A few months back I decided I’d go ‘dark’ in July 2014 so that moving forward I could ‘will the one’ for the next year more carefully. Last year was a great adventure but it’s time to discern in ‘the dark’so that next year will be focused, bright and beautiful. IMG_2154-002

Wisdom Journey

Saturday was the Summer Solstice.  A time to renew, Summer Solstice Sunsetrefresh, reinvent. Within. Around.  Remembering that in doing and not doing there is joy. Sometimes it takes  a while to discover  the rhythm but once found the cadence of summer is sweet .

Joseph Campbell called it ‘following your bliss’. I rediscovered those delightful days  last summer— along with this poem by Rainer Maria Rilke. . http://intoitevents.com/2014/05/29/like-a-river/

“May what I do flow from me like a river,  no forcing and no holding back.”

This summer I’ve remembered the flow of that river with ‘no forcing or holding back’,  ‘the song as no one ever has’. The discovery that we each compose our own song is sweet and freeing.

Not that I hadn’t been true to the journey….sometimes there’s a detour, a bend in the river….. a flat tire….tire

 

Aladdin 2I once thought to be true to myself meant embracing the world with a wide-eyed, über-enthusiastic grasp. Doing EVERYTHING with such passion.  Now I believe it’s wiser-eyed enthusiasm.  A passionate calm. Making wise choices about time, talent, treasure. Friends. Family. Sometimes easier said than done on the journey.

I was reminded of a personal anecdote last week. At age four I walked seven blocks to my grandparents house without my parents permission or knowledge. My parents thought I was lost, missing.  The family story goes that when I was asked how I got there I answered: “On my own two yegs“.   Was the act independent and fearless or disobedient, I don’t remember. I’ve thought about that little girl; the courage to take that seven block journey, other life journeys.

Summer Fitzgerald Gatsby

 

Yes, summer is quiet.  A time of wisdom. Standing at the doorDSC_1017-001….ready and waiting….. on my ‘on two yegs’.

 

 

 

Cue. Summer.

DSC_0922It’s been a busy two weeks since school was out and my last post. I’m always amused by people who think that teachers do nothing in the summer.

After over thirty years in the business I typically smile in response. I was born to teach. I recall gathering ‘the children’ to teach them songs at the neighborhood center my mother directed when I eight years old but now I understand the wisdom in rest and rejuvenation.

Cue. Summer. DSC_0905DSC_0870DSC_0901

Lazy days.  Grace-filled days. Family. Friends. Quiet solitude. Reflective. Laughter. Snapshots of Summer.  DSC_0891DSC_0872

I’ve given some thought to these warm, humid days.  The naming and keeping.

 

 

 

Summer’s mystery isn’t always found

in the naming and keeping of

DSC_0910days but in cherishing the moments as they come.

 

 

 

 

Sometimes only our absence can deepen and cleanse our presence.

Sometimes it is better that we go away, for a day or for a season.

Making the reunion ever so sweet….

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For Now

DSC_0790The last week of school. A week teachers look forward to. I suppose I have too: Time off to rest and recuperate before heading back to the ‘dance’ in August. This year has been a full one: professionally and personally. Reconnected. Reconciled.  Beginning with myself then moving to others.   The dance has been slow, steady but lovely.

DanceSince last May I have been reminded that…..

Even good-intentioned people and situations have ‘danger, danger Will Robinson’ times.   In those times,  a generous, inquisitive spirit is needed.

Forgiveness does not equal acceptance.

It’s perfectly okay to walk away from a situation.  Being around negativity is….well,  a downer.

Friends and family…..there’s nothing like them.  Remind them how much you love them.  Nothing has to be extravagant except love.

Collage May

Find something you enjoy. A passion.  You are NEVER too old to learn something new or to remember something you once knew.

Spending quality time with friends and family is important but spending time with YOURSELF is grounding.

Sleep well. Eat well. Move well. Simplify.

Find ‘a purpose’ each day….something to be grateful for. Some days Avenue Qare more challenging than others. We’re human. We miss people. We get angry, frustrated, tired.  The ‘purpose’ may be hidden but it’s there waiting…..sometimes right around the next corner. Like magic, it appears out of nowhere. DSC_0770

 

 

Friends, family, sunsets, adventures, the aroma of the magnolias when you walk out the door in the evening.  Enjoy. Be grateful. Savor life.

Dance!!  “For now!” DSC_0803

 

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Time, on the edge of Forever

Time is like a river made up of the events which happen, and a violent stream; for as soon as a thing has been seen, it is carried away, and another comes in its place, and this will be carried away too.

 ~ Marcus Aurelius-MeditationsDSC_0439

Do you remember the old Star Trek episode “The City on the Edge of Forever”?  Kirk and Spock pursue an hallucinating McCoy to 1930’s New York City through ‘The Guardian of Forever’.  While in the past Kirk meets and falls in love with Edith Keeler. (of course he does, he’s James T. Kirk) Unbeknownst to Kirk, McCoy has stumbled into the mission where Edith takes him in. Meanwhile, through reviewing the Guardian’s images of the original and altered timelines, Spock has discovered that Edith was supposed to have died in a traffic accident which McCoy prevented.  Kirk knows that Edith must die in order for time to return to normal.  In the end, Kirk does what he believes is the right. “Time has resumed its shape. All is as it was before.”  

Forty seven years have passed since Harlan Ellison’s screenplay was first televised.  Last week I was reminded of that story, the fluidity of time.  People. Places.  Peace.DSC_0583

…..And found myself at the portal of my own “The Guardian of Forever”.

Children grow up. Parents age. Friends get sick, some die. It is the natural course of things. Surrender. Letting go. Time, like life, can be about choice. How we choose to spend it. Open to and examining the possible. Riding the wave of time.

Sometimes we grasp so tight, the ‘water’ slips through our fingers.  DSC_0280
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As much as wish for it, time doesn’t stand still…..nor would we really want it to.

 

 

 

 

“Seize the day, then let it go.”  ~ Marty Rubin 

Life happens bit-by-bit, drop-by-drop, moment-by-moment. Accepting people as they are and ourselves where we are. Discovering  joy along the current. Not perfection. Not manipulation. But joy. Even James T. Kirk knew he couldn’t trick “flow of time” but be content knowing he found peace.

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